An Open Letter to Jay Leno

Dear Jay Leno,

Congratulations on usurping the 10PM primetime slot every weeknight. Though there was a good chance that the time would’ve been filled with crappy medical/police/court dramas, you have denied five different hour-long programs from getting a chance to find an audience.

Most of us understand NBC is struggling right now in the rankings, but your network is known for capturing a younger audience. After all, you’re part of the family that airs “The Office” and “30 Rock.” NBC has been able to strike a great balance between the hyperactive idiocy of Fox and the geezer-ish tendencies of CBS (ABC is ostensibly non-descript). Wasn’t there just the slightest possibility that one of those five hours during the week could’ve been a gem, a quality program that could’ve reached a large audience?

Of course, that’s where the risk came in. You were on top with “The Tonight Show.” The leader of late night, wasn’t that your title? Millions of viewers, albeit with an older audience. Still though, picking you guaranteed success. So after whining like a baby, reluctantly handing the reigns to a program that many argue you shouldn’t have even hosted in the first place, NBC revamped their schedule. Not just a show but a five-night-a-week gig, “The Jay Leno Show.”

This is an almost equally risky move, considering it’s unprecedented. The comedy/talk show format during primetime? But hey, you had the built-in fan base, not to mention you’d be pretty cheap. Well, relatively speaking; you’d continue to be paid an egregious salary, but the show is cheaper to produce and is a cheaper investment than five hour-long shows (let’s just swipe the notion of a half-hour sitcom stuck in there).

With a new move like this, surely the formula for your show would be different? I mean, it’s not “The Tonight Show,” it’s “The Jay Leno Show” (the ubiquitous ad campaign made sure we knew that). And what changed? Not much. A new, tacky set, sure, but a lot seemed intact. You brought your band with you, you continued with your unfunny monologues. And ‘Headlines’? Oh, how could you have a show without it? Don't forget about ‘Jay-Walking.’

Perhaps it’s just a difference in comedic tastes, but I thought you would’ve expanded a little bit. The comedy and the bits are as broad as ever. Jim Norton complaining about airports? Are you fucking kidding me? We’re on the cusp of 2010. If the public wants comedy but has to deal with more of your brand of humor, I think we’re ready to laugh at a different observation, ya know?

Oh, but the probing interview with Kanye! One day after an unflattering moment that received an unwarranted amount of attention (his anti-book rally didn’t receive as much attention), you had one of the first (the first?) interview with him. In a Barbara Walters-esque 20/20 moment, you asked him if his mother (whom you met!) was still alive, what would she say? I’m not trying to excuse West’s behavior, but it’s not like he worked at Dachau. Did you have to exhume his mother? In this instance, Ye’s embarrassment supersedes Taylor Swift’s

Besides interfering with the possibility of new programming, your unwavering adherence to your tired schtick, your refusal to get off the air, PERIOD, you’ve committed the worst atrocity. When Conan hosted “Late Night,” he was coveting your time slot. He had to endure your position as the lead-in, and after a shaky start, spending years crafting a unique, comic persona and show, and after having his show aired at an ungodly hour during the work week, he finally got the desk in June 2009. And after a mere three months, you’re back on right before him.

Fuck you.

Sincerely,
Justin Levine